I straddle a lot of fences. And I pass for a lot of things I’m not.
Biracial. I’m not a huge fan of that term, but is the most easily recognizable and understandable for people who are unaccustomed to children of interracial couplings. Being biracial is not like being both black and white. I was never able to be either one or the other. I’m not sure I ever really tried or wanted to. People make assumptions. I can pass in a lot of ways—raised by a white mother, in a predominantly white town, I’ve been told I sound “white” on the phone. I went to a predominantly white college, married a white man, made a bunch of kids, the eldest of whom really passes. I live with a lot of borrowed privilege.
I like the term mulatta. [aside: I'm aware of the controversy surrounding the etimology and modern use. Wiki's got a decent breakdown, if you're interested.] It’s pretty and romantic to me. It’s meaningful in a way bi- or multi-racial has never been. It separate from white and black. It’s something else entirely. I guess everyone likes to think of themselves as “something else entirely.” I am not what you think I am. I am something else entirely.
Bisexual. Now, I do really try not to use this term at all (unless someone else prefers to self-ID this way), for lots and lots of reasons. Like biracial, it’s based on a bianry system. As if there were only two choices. As if! Pansexual is good, but always requires explanation. I used to enjoy the tongue-in-cheekyness of “heteroflexible” but that no longer seems appropriate. In fact “homoflexible” is probably more appropriate for me, but that sounds like some sort of Vegas act.
Queer is probably the most preferrable term for me. I like queer. I commented on another blog recently that I feel like I should wear a pin that says “I’m queer. Ask me how!” Not that I want to tell every Tom, Dick and Harriet how I spent my Saturday night, but I’m open to discussing my thoughts on my own sexuality and its fluidity. It’s something I think about a lot.
People make assumptions. I’m married to a man. I live with a lot of borrowed privilege. But I am not what you think I am. I am something else entirely. Ask me, I’ll invite you to sit a spell and hear my story.
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